Okay, so turns out this post was harder to write than I though.

Why?

Because beauty is a really big deal.

Getting married is a pretty big deal!

And when it comes down to it – choosing a wedding dress is where those two longing meet up. Where our desire to feel and look our most beautiful lines up with one of the most important moments of our life. It’s epic!! We want to walk down the aisle and dazzle!

Hands down, wedding days are when most women look and feel their most beautiful. Most of us have spent months getting ‘ready’ as we prepare to walk down the aisle.

We want to look like FREAKING FIRE!!

We want our future husband to come undone when he sees us, because we long to be seen as beautiful.

We sometimes forget that we already are. We forget that he as already chosen us, he already thinks you are beautiful.

Sometimes with the expectations, opinions and the pressure that comes with getting married, we can make decision that don’t always make sense, especially when it comes to choosing our wedding dress.

Like this bride:

“When I think back to my wedding day, and my wedding dress (although I LOVED it when I bought it, I remember that my 9pm I was ready to go home, not because I wasn’t enjoying my wedding, but because I was SOO UNCOMFORTABLE!!

The corset of my dress had been pressing into my sternum for 8 straight hours, and I was done. I couldn’t eat, the dress was too tight, and breathing freely was no longer an involuntary reflex. Did I look good- yeah! The dress was sooo pretty. But do I remember dancing late into the night and having the best, carefree time? Nope, I remember wanting to cut myself out of my dress with a steak knife”

I’ve heard too many stories like this, and I though, “hey – maybe I need to do as post about this” (to maybe help a future bride enjoy her wedding day to the MAX! (and learn from those of us who drank the cool-aid)

As I started writing this post, I realised – I need help. I can’t do this alone, I need more input and different perspectives, because maybe I was the only one was considered bribing a waiter to change outfits because at leats then they would be comfortable. So I asked some of my closest friends, and recent brides one questions:

“What was the one things that you wished someone had told you before you bought your wedding dress?” and here are some of the most commented on things:

Turns out I was not the only one…..

COMFORT COMFORT COMFORT

The one piece of advise that came through more than all the others: COMFORT

We are wired to remember how we feel.

So if you spend the majority of your day feeling uncomfortable – guess what you are going remember? What feeling is going to pop up into your mind when you see your photos?

How much your dress scratched, or only looked good when you stood straight up like a mannequin, or how you HATE tight clothes, yet you felt compelled to buy that skin tight dress (because everyone told you you looked breathtaking)

And, on a deeper level, when you are most comfortable, you are also most beautiful.

You have so much more freedom to enjoy your day when you don’t have to chronically worrying about how you look, or if you remembered to pull in your stomach in during the photos.

““I loved my wedding dress, loved it!!! I dreamed about how beautiful I would look in it. But what I didn’t realise, was although it felt really comfortable initially, and during all the fittings, that skin tight corset ended up digging into my hips (I had bruises the next day) I couldn’t eat a bite of food, the dress was too tight, so that meal I spend SO MUCH money on, was a total waste.
And by 10pm I was really to go home, not because I didn’t enjoy my wedding, all I wanted to do, was get out of that dress, and Ironically – I remember that most of all when I look back at my photos!!””

Thing to consider that affect how comfortable a dress is :

HOW TIGHT IT IS (Can you move freely, can you lift your arms, sit, stand, bend? Can you eat more than a strawberry and still breath, can you take a deep breath without concentrating to do so)

MATERIAL (sequence can scratch, lace isn’t always soft, a very heavy fabric/lots of layers and a corset can feel amazing initially, and might help you feel like you are hiding your flaws but as the day wears on – can literally way you down)

DO YOU NEED TO CONSTANTLY ADJUST THINGS FOR IT TO LOOK JUST RIGHT?

““If you are not happy about something, fix it – that thing that bugs you is the thing that you will notice and remember when you look back at your photos””

Make sure you love every aspect of your dress.

Saying yes to the Dress.

I know that weddings have become more than just a day. It’s the fittings, the spa days the excuses to spend time with all your best people, and I really think there are parts of it that are super special, and should be celebrated!!

Like the dress fitting.

The champagne, the reveal, the tears and gushing over which dress you should choose. It’s pretty epic.

It’s one of the most beautiful season where you are really celebrated by your people.

Enjoy those moments!

““I just wished I had done that. I knew exactly what I wanted, so I never did the dress fitting thing. I honestly don’t think it would have changed my mind about my dress, it was me, it was perfect! I just wished I had had that experience: the girls, the Champagne, getting to try on dresses””

BUT – with that said:

Although the dress fitting experience is wildly amazing – and although the sales people are really knowledgeable and super helpful – don’t forget that they are first and foremost sales people.

“I remember the sales girl suggesting that I try on a dress that was completely different from what I was considering. It really was a beautiful dress, but it was really tight fitting, with a low cut back and front, and I am very self-conscious about my stomach.

It really was a stunning dress, but not at all the type of dress I wanted or felt comfortable in- but with all they hype around it, with everyone’s reaction and the sales ladies freaking out – I nearly bought the dress! Everyone kept telling me how stunning it looked on me!! ”

It’s such a big investment, so I asked them if I could at least take a day or two to think about it. Once I was out of all that hype and that situation I actually had a nightmare about the dress!! I really hate tight clothes, I don’t wear tight clothes, I don’t feel comfortable in tight clothes, so why would I buy a tight wedding dress? It doesn’t make sense!!

I’m so glad I didn’t buy it, because the dress that I did choose I felt really comfortable in. Of course you want to look like fire, but you also want to look back and remember your evening and remember having a good time at your wedding. And I don’t know if I speak for all girls/brides, but when I am feeling uncomfortable, I am not going to have a good time, not when I am constantly thinking about or worried about a specific aspect of my image/how I look.”

“So if there is any advise I can give brides about buying their wedding dress, it’s to think logically and stay true to who you are”

Asking for time to think about a dress, away from all the hype might just be what you need to get perspective and not make a rash decision you might regret later.

Stay true to you

There is nothing wrong with trying on styles that you might not have considered or though might look good on you, but also take some time to think logically about it, and stay true to who you know you are, and what you know will make you look beautiful and comfortable.

“YOU have to choose what you LOVE! I did, and I don’t regret it for a moment! But if I had listened to everyone else opinion, I would have ended up with a VERY different dress, and I would have missed out on what I really wanted”

It takes courage to stick to your guns.

We can get caught up in the hype of trends of fads, or listening to too many opinions that try to convince us that something else is better, because we believe that somehow it will make us look more amazing, when in truth, it might be the exact thing that you regret compromising on.

Not to sound corny or mushy – but there really is an inner radiance that shines from a woman on her wedding day and your wedding dress just adds to your radiance on your wedding day.

I have yet to see an ugly bride, I don’t think one exists, with LOTS of wedding under my belt, and many a friends wedding that I’ve attended) I think I can honestly say there is NO SUCH THING.

So what do you think? What did I miss?

What did you wish you knew before you bought your wedding dress?